Saturday, March 11, 2006

3/11/06 (PMP) The First of Many Part I

Nothing is ever normal again when a child disappears. A person experiencing the loss of a child (or other loved one) in this way is seemingly transported into a parallel existence, one that is as surreal as it is painful.

A simple trip to the grocery store can trigger overwhelming feelings of sadness. Walking down the aisle, you see a mother and her children. The mother smiles as she bends down to pick up the youngest child. The older ones are laughing and teasing each other. You stare at them as you remember your own family intact, and that there used to be laughter. You want to reach out and be a part of that again, but there is a barrier, and you cannot break through. It is as if they do not see you at all. They are oblivious to your pain and longing. There are times that you want to scream: "Don't you know I have a child missing? Why are you laughing?" But you won't be heard.

You're going down the cereal aisle and you reach out and take a box of your younger child's favorite cereal. Your hand brushes by another box, knocking it off the shelf. You reach down to pick it up. It is the brand that is your missing loved one's favorite. You feel your cheeks burning, and you fight back the tears, as you place it back on the shelf.

You're driving down the road and you see a young man walking down the sidewalk. His gait seems familiar. As you come closer, you can't help but notice that he looks very much like your missing loved one. You strain to look at him as you drive by, but traffic doesn't allow you to slow down, so you turn around at the next corner. It seems as if your heart has stopped beating, in that moment of longing and hoping. The car moves closer and closer and then in a split second, it's over. It wasn't him. It never is. A single tear cascades down your cheek as you drive home.

As you get closer to home, a song comes on the radio. It is his favorite song. You try to listen, but you can't. You pull into the garage in silence. The door goes down. You sit in your car until the light in the garage goes out. There is no awareness of the passage of time. Another family member comes to help bring the groceries in to the house and asks what you were doing. "I was just listening to a song", you state, as your voice fades..........

What you have just read is an intimate peek into everyday activities, once mundane, and now altered by the ambiguous loss faced by families of the missing. To readers who have not had this unfortunate experience, I assure you this is normal behavior, particularly in the beginning. Some family members, sadly, don't move far beyond this existence.

In relation to our topic, considering the state of mind of a family member, it is no wonder that they may be easily led into trying anything to find their child. At times, family members just agree so as not to fight. There is no energy left over. Decisions may be made based upon a small worldview, shaped by the media and opinions of other family and friends. Rational thinking is replaced by an emotion-based decision-making process.

Using psychics never occurred to me in the beginning. I was still, at that time, very open to many things of a paranormal nature, and I did not question my beliefs. A friend of a relative had been to a conference in Kansas City, and there she met a woman who claimed to be a psychic. She told the woman about Jason. Coincidentally, the woman and her partner were planning a trip to Omaha in the near future. The relative told me about this woman, and asked if I would talk to her. I agreed, and the friend made the arrangements for the psychic to call me at home. Had I known what I do now, I would have never agreed to this, and would certainly have not spoken to her on the phone. I was entirely ignorant to the process the psychics use.

During the phone call, I answered any an all questions put to me about Jason and the case, not even thinking how my answers would be used later in an attempt to secure my belief in her. There was another phone conversation, and I was told that they would be coming to Omaha for other reasons, and would meet with me to tell me about Jason. She said that she already knew what had happened to him, but that a session with me, his mother, along with using some of Jason's possessions, might give her more information.

The day of the meeting arrived. I had the requested items of Jason's gathered and placed in a bag. I was to meet the woman and her partner in a southwest Omaha motel. It never even occurred to me that it was surely not a wise thing to be going to meet strangers alone in a motel room. My state of mind at that time threw caution to the wind. I wanted to find my son. I was like a soldier, battered and weary from the daily struggle, trudging along in the direction in which I was pointed. I had no idea what I was walking into.

To be continued........

This series will be presented each day Monday-Friday, until its completion, unless urgent matters or posts pre-empt it. All posts in the series will be noted in the title with “PMP”, which stands for “Psychics and Missing People.” This way, you can easily identify other posts in the series by looking to your right in the “Previous Posts” section.

I’d also like to warn our readers that some of the stories presented, including my own, contain graphic descriptions of violent acts which may be disturbing to you.

The disclaimer you see below will be included at the bottom of each new post. We must make it clear what we are not in the business of proving or disproving claims made by psychics or those who are convinced that it is ALL real and true. We exist to assist families of the missing.

We understand that many people believe that psychics are effective in solving crimes and finding missing people. Please keep in mind that the goal of this series is to help families understand techniques used by persons making these claims and make better decisions about the use of psychics.

Project Jason and its volunteers cannot act as a clearinghouse for persons claiming success in using paranormal means to locate missing persons. We will be unable to respond to emails or other correspondence sent to us from persons making these claims or persons offering information about or referrals to psychics.

We instead invite those persons to present their evidence to the members of the James Randi Education Foundation. They have a forum available for you to discuss your claims.

Jump to the next story in the series:


Blogger Dawn said...

Excellent entry. I can't wait to hear the rest!


9:36 AM  

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