12/24/06 Home for the Holidays--Erin Pospisil

This is a letter written to Erin in 2003 by her stepmother, Carolyn:

Erin,

Today is 1 year and 204 days since I saw you last. Tomorrow will be our 2nd Christmas without you. Every day is hard but the holidays, Christmas and New Year’s especially, seem to be the hardest. Got out the stockings this morning. Amber and I got into an argument because I won’t let her use yours. And somehow it is the only one that seems to have survived the move. Almost as if your Pooh was supposed to be our only stocking this year.

I am finding it even harder to do Christmas without you this year. Not that last year was easy. Last year we were just convinced that if you had run away that the holidays would definitely bring you home. I think that your persistence to uphold traditions is making memories harder to get away from this year.

The joy in your eyes from the first Christmas light display of the holiday season, the care you always took to look your “very best” on Christmas Eve at Grandma & Grandpa’s house. Watching you take what seemed like forever to pick out Christmas presents for your brothers and sister. Laughing while we tried to figure out “exactly what we messed up” on that batch of cookies. The look on your face when you and your brother dragged home the “bargain” Christmas tree from the lot up the street, because you said the house didn’t “smell right with a fake one”. Calling the lady at the flower shop to find out exactly what kind of a tale you guys told her to get a live 6 ft tree for $3 anyway. The joy in my heart when she told me what wonderful children I had. Finding out that you actually gave her $15 but you had bought a tree for the neighbors who didn’t have one at all. Knowing that their 50% off trees were $12. Imagine the look on that Mom’s face when her kids dragged the tree in their front door! Watching that really bad remake of the Rudolph cartoon “just one more time.” Knowing that you would be the last one to sleep on Christmas Eve. Trying to convince you that if you don’t go to sleep soon, Santa will never skip our house all together. The “But, Mom…” when I told you that 5 am is too early to wake up your brothers, even if there are presents to open. Telling you that you could have the contents of your stocking but only if you took it back to bed with you. Doing this all over again at 6 am. Taking you for a walk at 6:30 so that we could look for “reindeer tracks”. (And trying to buy another hour for your brothers.) Following a trail of pine needles in the snow up to First Avenue. Gee, wonder how those got there.

After Christmas Bargains. “Cause we can use it next year!” Even though I know we’ll look at it next year and try and figure out what we saw in it in the first place.Planning “Erin’s Huge New Year’s Eve”. No, you can’t have a 50-person guest list. No, the glitter confetti is out of the question. There is still glitter in the rug from 4 years ago. Going to 4 stores before we found exactly the right brand of sparkling grape juice. Going over cookbooks trying to find that “one recipe for those Chinese looking things you eat with your fingers.” Calling Grandma because we never can find the recipe. And because she knew what you were talking about right away!

I love you Erin. I want you to know that you are in my heart every day. Wherever you are, I send you my love. May the same angels that rejoiced at Jesus’ manger birth, protect you today. Praise God for giving us His Son. Praise God for giving me you.

Peace, Love, and Angels,

Carolyn

www.helpfindachild.com

Erin Pospisil
DOB: Apr 14, 1986
Missing: Jun 3, 2001
Age Now: 20
Sex: Female
Race: White
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'3" (160 cm)
Weight: 125 lbs (57 kg)
Missing From:CEDAR RAPIDS, IA

If you have information about Erin, please call the Cedar Rapids IA Police Department at 1-319-286-5491