Friday, May 05, 2006

5/5/05 (PMP) Joy Stealers

When my son disappeared almost 5 years ago, we were robbed of his presence in our lives. We were left holding the bag of his future and the life he might have that would be his own, but yet intertwine with ours. He may have been married and had children by now. So many things can change in a person’s life in those early adult years, but we were not given the privilege of witnessing these things.

There is never a “normal” again. Normal, ordinary life is a thing of the past. We must come to accept (but not like) that we have this profoundly sad mystery in our life. We must come to accept that we may never see our son again.

We can have hope. It is our right. It is right. Until we know the truth, we have no right to declare him either alive or dead with any certainty. We must live in the “not knowing”, unable to move forward or backward in the grieving process. We know not for what we grieve. It is a limbo of extreme proportions, as it involves a life; our loved one.

We would not allow ourselves to be broken, not by the situation, and not by other people. There came a time when we found that we could still experience joy. It was amazing revelation; a privilege of life restored to us.

There are so many simple pleasures that are joyous: a cool breeze blowing on a sunny day, a fragrant bouquet of fresh picked flowers, the endless panorama of an ocean view, a shooting star against a black sky, and the sparkle of a new-fallen snow. There are also personal joys, such as enjoying the laughter of the younger family members, watching our other son grow up into a kind and generous young man, and triumphs made in the world of the missing person’s cause. The latter can be a bittersweet joy, but a joy nonetheless.

Just as we have a right to have hope, we also have a right to experience joy in our lives, despite the pain. Situations can take that away, even if just for a moment, but people should not.

However, the psychics did anyway, or at least they tried to with their horrid tales of pain and death disguised as “helping”.

Unless they can guarantee that their visions are the truth and prove that with results, they have no right to take away our joy and our hope.

If you are the family of a missing person, and are considering seeking out or using a psychic, please ponder the above statement.

We’ll be back next week with the end of our series.

We understand that many people believe that psychics are effective in solving crimes and finding missing people. Please keep in mind that the goal of this series is to help families understand techniques used by persons making these claims and make better decisions about the use of psychics.

Project Jason and its volunteers cannot act as a clearinghouse for persons claiming success in using paranormal means to locate missing persons. We will be unable to respond to emails or other correspondence sent to us from persons making these claims or persons offering information about or referrals to psychics.

We instead invite those persons to present their evidence to the members of the James Randi Education Foundation. They have a forum available for you to discuss your claims. http://forums.randi.org/forumdisplay.php?f=7

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

5/2/06 I'll be back....

As you might imagine, writing about my experiences with the psychics is quite draining. I'll return with the wrap up of our series. It also happens to be good timing to take a couple of days off for other reasons, as I have an evening meeting and it's my son's 18th birthday.

Today, be sure to tell someone about whom you care these three very important words:

"I love you."

Monday, May 01, 2006

5/1/06 (PMP) The Bitter End, Conclusion

…..continued from Friday.


According to Julie, the officer with the angel pin stood close to where Jason was in the ditch, having been stuffed into the drainage pipe by Vanessa after she hit him with her car.

Jason relayed through the spirits to the psychic that the officer was so close by, that he could clearly hear the sounds of his police radio going off and the officer’s footsteps as he walked slowly along the highway. Jason tried to call out to him: “I’m here, I’m here. Help me!” but he was so weak that the sound traveled no farther than his lips. Jason tried again and again, but could not make a sound loud enough to be heard by the officer. After a time, the officer went back to his car and drove away, leaving Jason alone to die.

He didn’t die right away. It was frightening to say the least, to be all alone and helpless to save yourself. Jason did not have the strength to get out of the pipe. He didn’t understand how this could have happened to him or why someone would do this to him. His attempts to call out decreased as his breathing became more labored. It was dark, and no one was there, and then the end came.

Julie claimed, like others, that Jason was frustrated and wanted us to find out the truth and his body, so that we could have the answers and then we could finally rest in our search. It made sense to me that if he was so frustrated, he would make sure that we were provided with enough information to find him. In addition, it also was logical that Jason and the spirits would make sure Julie had knowledge about him that she couldn’t have possibly found on the Internet, or gleaned from Ann or Jane, so that we would believe her. Before I had a chance to ask that question, Julie went on another one of her long deflection monologues.

This deflection went on for a good 30 minutes or more. Julie told us that Vanessa wears a pink thong and gold spiked high heels when she performs at the strip club. Vanessa is not her real name. Oddly enough, the spirits could not provide her real name, or the license plate number of her car. However, the spirits could provide a highly detailed description of what the club looked like inside and out. On and on she went about all of the details of the building.

In order to solve the case, Julie said that my husband and I, along with two friends she could not name, must go to the club on a Friday or Saturday night. It must be windy when we go. My husband must stand outside the back door and when inside the club, I am to approach Vanessa. As soon as she sees me, she knows who I am, and why I am there. (My guess is because we’ve had a fair amount of press in the area.) She will then flee out the back door, where my husband is waiting to stop her. If we stop her, she will confess to what she did.

I asked how we were to find this strip club, and Julie launched into her third deflection, which was a visual trip to nowhere, although in Julie’s mind, it was a trip to the strip club. This monologue was just like the others: numerous words, but no meaningful information.

Since Julie could not identify the club by name or address, I asked her if we were expected to go to every strip club in the area until we found Vanessa. Her answer: “Yes”. She did claim that it was also on Highway 275, so I did do a search for that type of business after the fact, and there was nothing that could even come close to matching with an address and any numbers given to me.

In fact, while the reading was still going on, she had me get the phone book, and start looking up businesses that sounded like “Howie” or “Howard”. She also said some other numbers, but nothing matched up to those either. There were a few business names that matched Howie or Howard. The 1st one I mentioned seemed to get Julie excited, but I told her it was not a strip club. One of the other places happened to be a Mexican restaurant we like. She hit on that one as well. “That’s it!” I told her it was a restaurant, and she said that sometimes these places were a front for strip clubs and that they probably ran the strip operation on the weekend. I then told her that it wasn’t possible because we knew the place and often went there on weekends. The phone book lookup was now over.

I went back asking for a validation that Julie was actually speaking to Jason or to other spirits who were with him. I asked her the same question I had asked the “Shovel Lady”. (From a previous story) It was a simple question about something that Jason really likes that is not written anywhere, and nor does anyone know the answer other than my husband and me. It’s about a common item, and the number of answers is certainly not infinite, and in fact is limited. Julie immediately shouted out the answer, but it was dead wrong. Jason does not like the item she mentioned at all.

Julie didn’t like the fact that she was wrong about this. Her tone changed to one of annoyance at me, although I had sensed it building for quite some time because I did not react to her stories and did not feed her information. Julie then announced to me and to Jane that my “attitude” was causing problems with the reading. I told her that it seemed to me if she wanted me to believe her that she could get one simple answer from Jason. She went to the phone with Jane and spoke to her for quite awhile, and I could not hear what she was saying. Ann came on the phone and indicated the reading was over.

At the beginning of the session, Julie had claimed that if her reading didn’t help find Jason, she would get on an airplane and come here and find him herself. She did not ever come, and she also never sent the tape or the notes that Ann took. Julie, along with her supposed spirit friends, did a very good job at one thing: deceit

I was exhausted. Over 3 hours of my life had been wasted by this woman and her tall tales. Sometimes I wonder if they don’t drag these readings out in an attempt to wear down the victim. That’s a common mind control technique. If the victim is tired and emotionally worn down, they’re going to talk and give information they may not recall giving later on. They will also be more likely to stop applying logic to the story as it’s laid out for them. I would venture to say that if any family member of a missing person were to take the guesses given to them by a psychic and take a practical look at the data, as I did (red print in this story) they will find little to nothing of value.

I rested for awhile, dried my tears, and then called Jane. She was very cool to me, and admitted she was angry that I wasted the reading because of my attitude. I asked her if she actually believed the stories that Julie told, and sadly, she did. I assured her that we would never find Vanessa or green police cars or Jason’s remains in that ditch. I said it was ridiculous to expect my husband and me to go to every single area strip club on windy Friday or Saturday nights looking for someone who didn’t exist. I told her I would do some preliminary research based upon my notes and let her know what I found. Of course, I found nothing at all that could help me locate my son.

It took Jane several days to calm down and stop feeling so angry towards me. I was livid at Julie. I felt as if she was taking her frustrations out on me, which was just another cruel twist in the story. Not only did she waste my time with the reading and then the fact checking afterwards, but she was wasted the time of my LE. She failed to research our area in an effort to be able to provide information that might actually make sense, even though it would still be just a made-up story.

Worse than that, to me, was the fact that she caused problems in the relationship between Jane and me. She purposely drove a wedge in between us simply because she had a bad performance that night.

Performance is the key word. That’s all it was.

We understand that many people believe that psychics are effective in solving crimes and finding missing people. Please keep in mind that the goal of this series is to help families understand techniques used by persons making these claims and make better decisions about the use of psychics.

Project Jason and its volunteers cannot act as a clearinghouse for persons claiming success in using paranormal means to locate missing persons. We will be unable to respond to emails or other correspondence sent to us from persons making these claims or persons offering information about or referrals to psychics.

We instead invite those persons to present their evidence to the members of the James Randi Education Foundation. They have a forum available for you to discuss your claims. http://forums.randi.org/forumdisplay.php?f=7

Jump to the next story in the series:

http://voice4themissing.blogspot.com/2006/05/5505-pmp-joy-stealers.html



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